Dinner at the Ritz
by Loveedith
Summary: Edith, Rosamund and Bertie at the Ritz. Very much canon - at least in the first six chapters. The remaining chapters are my own interpretation of all that happened during the rest of that evening.
1. At the Ritz with Aunt Rosamund

"This way..."

The waiter at the Ritz was showing Edith and Aunt Rosamund to their table.

Edith had had a couple of good days at the office of the Sketch after being driven to London by Henry Talbot, Mary's new husband. It had been a pleasant trip, he had been good company.

"Is it working out? Henry and Mary living at Downton?" Aunt Rosamund asked.

"As far as I can tell", Edith said. "He's far too good for Mary. They're happy. Although it might be better if he could find something to do."

"Well, won't he go on driving?" Aunt Rosamund wondered.

Before Edith had time to answer that, thunder struck.

...

Edith suddenly saw a very familiar man standing beside the table that the waiter was showing them. She didn't really believe her eyes. Why was he here? Or was she just imagining things?

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him. He was looking just as handsome as usual, and just as sad as he had been the last time she saw him.

"What on earth?" Edith blurted out. "How did you know I would be here?" Perhaps he had just happened to be dining here. But it didn't look like that.

Bertie just looked at her, so Edith turned to her Aunt instead.

"Are you leaving?"

"I certainly am. Goodnight, darling. I'll telephone in the morning." She gave Edith a kiss on her cheek and then she left.

...

So it was a set up then!

Edith's first impulse was to leave with Aunt Rosamund, but the sadness in Bertie's eyes made it impossible. She still loved him, of course, but she had thought she was at least starting to get over him. Obviously she had been wrong.

So she stayed. She let the waiter help her to sit down. Bertie hadn't said a single word yet.

"Is this all a set-up?" Edith asked. "Somebody tipped you off I was in London. Was it Papa?"

"It was Mary."

"Mary?!"

So Mary had decided that she hadn't done Edith enough harm already. She had called in Bertie to... To do what? To give Edith another scolding?

But no, it couldn't be like that. Bertie wouldn't have played along with something like that, Edith was sure of that. She had to give him the benefit of the doubt. And Aunt Rosamund wouldn't have wanted to hurt Edith either.

But Mary!? What had she been up to? This was all so totally incomprehensible.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment!

...

This is my favourite DA scene, so I just wanted to expand it a little. I think there will be three or four short chapters in all.

And the big turnaround in the Christmas Special was something as simple as Mary trying to get Edith and Bertie back together.


	2. Waiting for Edith

The first thing that run through Bertie's mind when Lady Mary called him on the phone was that Edith was dead.

Why else would her sister call him? There was no other reason he could think of.

It was a horrible thought. He felt his whole body starting to tremble.

...

"This is Lady Mary Crawley", Mary had said on the phone. "Or rather Mary Talbot. Edith's sister."

"Is Edith all right? Is she alive?" Bertie immediately blurted out.

"Of course she is! Don't be absurd! Edith is just fine! She is as healthy as a horse."

Bertie was so relieved he couldn't help letting out a very audible sigh.

"I only called to apologise for my behaviour last time we met", Mary continued. "I'm sorry! I hope you can forgive me, I wasn't myself that day. I had no right to meddle into your business. And I'm certain that Edith would have told you about Marigold when she felt ready for it."

Bertie didn't know what to say about this. The only thing he could think about was how happy he was that Edith was alive.

"Apology accepted", he managed to press out at last.

"Edith is on her way to London right now, and she will stay there for some days. I have booked a table for two at the Ritz tomorrow in my Aunt's name if you care to go there to see her. My Aunt will ask her out and then leave her with you."

"There is no need for this kind of secrecy", Bertie protested. "I'm planning to call her very soon myself! Today, in fact."

That wasn't exactly true, only partly. He _did_ plan to call her today, but he had planned to call her every day for almost two weeks without ever being able to pick up the courage to do so. He felt so ashamed of how he had treated her when he last saw her. How hard he had been to her, even though he had seen how sorry she was about it all. Was it his new status as a Marquess that had made him feel entitled to treat Edith so badly? Well, he had at least regretted it ever since.

"Well, I think there is a need", Lady Mary insisted. "My Aunt and I are both of the opinion that Edith wouldn't come if you called her yourself. I know she's still fond of you, though. What about you, do you still want her?"

"I'd rather discuss things like that directly with your sister", Bertie said coldly.

He wondered if this was a new trick by Mary to lure him to London just to make him look ridiculous.

"Fair enough", Mary said. "It's at seven tomorrow evening. You have to be there before then. The Ritz, as I said. My Aunt is called Rosamund Painswick, as you perhaps remember. The table is in her name as I told you."

Mary was quiet for a moment. Then she added:

"And if it is any consolation to you, Edith probably wouldn't come if she knew I had arranged it either."

...

Bertie could have said no to it all, of course. But he was desperate to see Edith again. And it was better to talk to her eye to eye than over the phone. Which he hadn't managed to call her on to begin with.

So even if this was a trick he was willing to be made a fool of as long as there was just the slightest chance that he would meet Edith again. Life was so thoroughly dreadful without her.

"I will be there", Bertie said, and with that they hang up.

After that Bertie immediately told his mother that he had to go to London to see Edith. Three hours later he was on the train.

...

Bertie had never felt more nervous than he did as he waited by the table at the Ritz that evening. It was up to him now - he had to make it right. If he missed this opportunity he would perhaps never be given another. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was and how much he had missed her and then, once again, ask her to marry him.

And he would endeavour to listen to what _she_ said, and not presume that she had said yes when she really hadn't.

...

Seeing Edith coming into the restaurant with her Aunt was such a relief to him after the scare Lady Mary had given him when she called. At least she was alive - for some strange reason he hadn't been entirely sure of that fact until he saw her. Some doubts had lingered.

This wasn't just a trick from her sister either, it seemed. Or if it was a trick it was a trick that Edith herself played along with. And however badly he had treated her he was sure she would never lower herself to do a thing like that.

He had time to see that Edith looked stunning, as usual. She was wearing a lovely dress in copper and green, with pearls around her neck and forehead. She was good at choosing clothes, Bertie liked all her dresses, although he would probably find her stunning no matter what she was wearing.

Edith looked rather happy also, Bertie noticed with delight.

She did look rather happy. But only until she saw him.

...

"What on earth?" Edith gasped. "How did you know I would be here?"

It was obvious that she was angry. Well, better angry than sad, Bertie thought. He didn't manage to get a word out. He just looked at Edith. So she turned to her Aunt.

"Are you leaving?" she asked.

"I certainly am. Goodnight, darling. I'll telephone in the morning." She gave Edith a kiss on her cheek. Then she gave Bertie a nod as if to say _You had better get this fixed!_ and then she left.

...

Bertie had feared that Edith would leave too, but she didn't. She stayed and let the waiter help her with her chair.

When they were both seated Bertie smiled at her, and she smiled back. But it was a very short smile. It never reached her eyes and quickly faded away altogether.

Bertie wanted to tell Edith how very much she meant to him and how terribly he had missed her and how sorry he was for treating her so badly. But he didn't manage to say a single word. He just looked at her across the table, trying to be cheerful - after all he was so happy to be with her again. But she seemed to be so upset.

"Is this all a set-up?" Edith asked before Bertie had managed to say anything. "Somebody tipped you off I was in London. Was it Papa?"

"It was Mary." These were the first words Bertie said to Edith after all these weeks apart, and he so wished he had said something else. Especially after he saw her reaction.

"Mary?!"

There was incredulity and anger in Edith's voice. It was obvious that Mary had been right - if Edith had known that Mary had set this up she would never have come.

...

"How? What did she do?" Edith wasn't happy at all about this, it seemed.

This was not what Bertie wanted to talk about, but he had promised himself to be honest with her.

"Booked the table and got your aunt to play along. They thought you might not come if it were me."

"They were right there", Edith said with conviction.

Well, this was not going to be easy, Bertie realised. Mary had obviously been right in that too.

He could only hope that Mary was right about the other thing that she had said to him also.

That Edith was still fond of Bertie.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading. And thank you so much for all the nice reviews to last chapter!

...

And please leave a review! That's what keeps me writing.


	3. Nothing's Changed

Mary had told Bertie that Edith was in London. Edith was appalled.

Didn't Mary think Edith was sad enough about losing Bertie? Did she have to rub it in? What was this really, why couldn't Mary just leave Edith alone?

Mary was happy now and had a husband who loved her. Why couldn't she just stop bothering Edith? Let Edith live her own life?

"Mary!? How? What did _she_ do?" Edith blurted out.

"Booked the table and got your aunt to play along. They thought you might not come if it were me." Bertie was looking sad and helpless and adorable and Edith just _couldn't_ let herself in for more heartache.

"They were right there", she said in a sad attempt to show him she didn't care about him.

"Will you stay now? Please!" Bertie seemed to be very close to tears and so was she.

...

Edith wondered if Bertie understood what he was doing to her. How impossible he was for her to resist. Especially when he looked so sad. She wanted to throw her arms around him and hold him, and tell him that everything was going to be alright.

But everything wasn't going to be alright, was it? Bertie had told her he couldn't marry her, so what was he after? What was this all about?

Luckily they were interrupted by the waiter.

"May I bring you a menu, m'lord, and perhaps a drink?" the waiter said.

"Thank you, yes, we'll have menus and two glasses of Champagne." Bertie ordered.

Champagne? Really? Edith thought. What was there to celebrate?

And Bertie hadn't even asked her what she wanted to drink. It was so unlike him. But perhaps he thought he could treat her anyway he wanted now. Now that he was a Marquess. Now that he knew what kind of woman Edith was. Now that he knew that she had slept with Michael Gregson.

"Bertie, I don't know what I'm doing here", Edith said after the waiter had left. "You broke my heart."

He didn't answer that, only looked down at the table, perhaps a little embarassed by her behaviour. So she continued.

"I'm not blaming you, exactly. I know why you felt you had to -"

To Edith's surprise Bertie suddenly interrupted her: "I want you back."

What did he mean, really?

"Nothing's changed", Edith said. If Bertie couldn't marry her before then he couldn't marry her now.

"I've changed." Bertie said.

Edith didn't believe him.

"Well, if you have, you haven't said a word to me about it. I don't believe you'd have spoken now if Mary hadn't telephoned."

Edith wanted to get out of this. She wanted to get up and walk away. But somehow she just couldn't leave him. There was something about him, some genuin sorrow, that made it impossible for her to abandon him.

"I would have, I promise." Bertie said.

Edith didn't really believe that either.

"But what's different? I still have Marigold. You have your mother."

"I've never told her we'd split up", Bertie said.

Really? He was too embarrassed to tell his mother? What was the use of that? He would have to tell her sooner or later.

"Well, we have", Edith said flatly.

...

"Would you believe me if I said I couldn't live without you?" Bertie stuttered out.

"You've done a pretty good job of living without me lately", Edith said accusingly. He really had, hadn't he.

"I've done a very bad job."

Bertie looked like he was very close to crying.

The waiter chose that moment to bring their menus and their Champagne. Otherwise Edith would have burst into tears herself.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Thank you for the lovely reviews to last chapter!

Please leave a comment!


	4. I Want You Back!

Bertie looked at Edith across the table at the Ritz. She had just told him that she wouldn't have come if he had called her himself.

She seemed so upset and so angry. Well, he had to make her stay. He had to make her have dinner with him, to give him time to explain and apologise and win her back. That was the most important thing right now.

"Will you stay now? Please!" he pleaded.

That was the moment the waiter interrupted them.

"May I bring you a menu, m'lord, and perhaps a drink?"

Bertie only wanted the waiter to go away as fast as possible. Preferably before Bertie started to cry.

Bertie was thirty-three years old and more than a head taller than his mother, but to her he was still a child. That usually annoyed him, but in some ways he had to admit that she was right. He was much too easily moved for a grown up man, let alone a Marquess. That 'stiff upper lip' and 'boys don't cry' had never been easy for him. It didn't take much to make his eyes water.

He didn't want to cause a scandal now by crying in front of a waiter on the Ritz.

"Thank you, yes, we'll have menus and two glasses of Champagne", Bertie ordered, endeavouring to keep his voice steady.

...

So now he had managed to order a drink to Edith without asking her what she wanted! What must she think of him! That in becoming a nobleman he had ceased to be a gentleman?

"Bertie, I don't know what I'm doing here. You broke my heart", Edith said.

That was terrible to hear, he didn't know how to answer it. But while he searched for something to say to apologise, she continued.

"I'm not blaming you, exactly. I know why you felt you had to -"

She _should_ blame him, Bertie thought. He blamed himself. He had behaved like an absolute cad, leaving her like that when he could see how sad it made her. Not to mention how sad it made himself.

He just couldn't let her go on like this, blaming herself when it was all his fault.

"I want you back!" he blurted out. Not an apology, really, but at least he made it clear to her what _he_ was doing here.

But she didn't accept that, it seemed.

"Nothing's changed", she retorted.

"I've changed", Bertie said, looking pleadingly at Edith. He needed her to understand this.

"Well, if you have, you haven't said a word to me about it. I don't believe you'd have spoken now if Mary hadn't telephoned", she said, seeming quite a bit sad.

"I would have, I promise." He would have. As soon as he had found the courage he would have come looking for her, he was certain of that.

"But what's different? I still have Marigold. You have your mother."

He wanted to tell her that none of that mattered. That he wanted to marry Edith no matter what. That he loved little Marigold and would be delighted to take care of her and raise her as his own daughter, if only Edith would let him. That he always would stand up to his mother if she wanted him to leave Edith.

But he never got around to say any of this.

"I've never told her we'd split up", he said instead. Perhaps he thought that would make Edith understand that he had regretted it all from the very start.

"Well, we have", Edith said.

And it sounded so definite.

...

Bertie didn't manage to get through to her at all it seemed. But he just had too. He couldn't let her slip away from him again.

"Would... would you believe me if... if I said I couldn't live without you?" he stuttered.

"You've done a pretty good job of living without me lately", Edith said. It was obvious she didn't believe him at all. Well, he was telling the truth, what else could he do?

"I've done a very bad job", he managed to press out, tears in his eyes.

And just when Bertie was about to start crying for real the waiter returned.

"M'lady", he said giving Edith her menu and her glass of Champagne.

"And for you, m'lord."

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Thank you for the friendly reviews to last chapter!

...

And yes, this is going to be more than four chapters. Writing is very much an inspirational thing for me, we'll see where I end up.


	5. What are You Asking?

"M'lady." The waiter gave Edith the menu and a glass of Champagne.

"And for you, m'lord." Then the waiter left them again.

Bertie wanted her back, Edith thought. He had said that he couldn't live without her, and the way he had said it made her believe him.

But he had said that he couldn't marry her either, last time they met, so what was it he was asking of her? To be his mistress? So he could marry some one else to be his Marchioness and bear him children?

Edith couldn't really believe that Bertie would do a thing like that, but... maybe she didn't know him all that well? She just had to know.

"I don't understand what you want of me", she said. "What are you asking?"

For a moment she had a vision of Bertie Pelham in bed with her. She just knew how loving and tender he would be when he was kissing and making love to her. If being his mistress was all she could get from him - perhaps she ought to accept that. As long as he wasn't married.

That was how badly she wanted him, she realised.

But then he said it.

"I want you to marry me."

Edith was as surprised as when he first uttered those words. So he still wanted to marry her, no matter what he had said last time they met. Did he understand the consequences, she wondered.

"Just like that?" she asked.

He smiled and looked at her, and there was no way of mistaking the seriousness in his eyes.

"Whenever you choose, but... that's what I want."

That was the moment Edith's resistance broke down. It was the moment when she finally went from wanting to protect herself to wanting to protect Bertie.

"If I agreed, which is a big if", she said, "Would we tell your mother the truth about Marigold?"

"Let me put it this way, if we tell her, we'll have to break with her", Bertie said. "I'd prefer not to do that."

Bertie loved his mother, although he could see she wasn't perfect. Edith couldn't expect him to break with her. Especially since she herself hadn't dared to tell her own parents about Marigold until they found out by themselves.

On the other hand - if Edith had trusted her own parents from the beginning she wouldn't have had to go to Switzerland. Well, perhaps she would have had to go there, but her mother would have found a way to let Edith come back with a ward - a baby Edith had found in Switzerland and brought back with her. Marigold could have been placed in Downton's nursery from the start. Edith would have been much happier, Marigold would probably also have been happier and so would everyone else.

Telling the truth had never really got Edith into trouble. It was lying that had. And perhaps Bertie didn't give his mother enough credit, just like she hadn't given her own parents that.

Anyway, she had to make Bertie understand what he might have to face if he married Edith.

"Even without your mother, there are people out there who know the truth", she said. "There could be gossip. Are you ready for it?"

"Well, I hope to avoid it, but I'm ready if we can't", Bertie said earnestly.

Then he added: "The only thing I'm not ready for is a life without you."

She could see he really meant that. He was such a darling!

Herbert Pelham, you really are the sweetest thing, Edith thought.

And without thinking she took a small sip at her Champagne. Perhaps she did have something to celebrate after all.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Thank you for the kind reviews to last chapter!

Please leave a comment!

...

I do believe this is what Edith thinks when she asks Bertie what he wants of her.


	6. I Want You to Marry Me

Bertie was usually a level-headed man, but not when it came to Edith.

He knew that there were 2 million more women than men in the country after the war, and many of the remaining men were seriously wounded.

It had been in all the papers, articles about how hard it had become for women to find husbands. Edith herself had written one of these articles.

Now that Bertie was a Marquess he could probably pick and choose among all of these single women as a wife, or at least among many of them.

But he didn't want anyone else. He wanted Edith.

She was for him like the sun is for the earth - Bertie had read that somewhere, but it was still true. He felt cold, dark and dead without her.

...

"I don't understand what you want of me. What are you asking?" Edith said after the waiter had left them. Bertie wondered why she asked that. What a strange question! She sometimes said the most astonishing things.

He had told her he couldn't live without her, so wasn't it obvious?

"I want you to marry me."

He had no idea why, but that seemed to surprise her.

"Just like that?" she asked.

"Whenever you choose, but... that's what I want."

She seemed to be considering this for a moment.

"If I agreed, which is a big if, would we tell your mother the truth about Marigold?" she asked then.

"Let me put it this way, if we tell her, we'll have to break with her.", Bertie said. He knew that was probably true. It wouldn't be as easy for his mother as it had been for him to accept that Edith had had a lover. After all, he had understood that when Edith showed him Michael Gregson's flat and it hadn't made him love her any less.

"I'd prefer not to do that." he added. Because Bertie loved his mother and she was all the family he had left after Peter died.

"Even without your mother, there are people out there who know the truth", Edith said. "There could be gossip. Are you ready for it?"

Well, how could he answer that? He didn't want his wonderful wife and their sweet little daughter to be gossiped about. But you can never stop people from talking, can you.

"Well, I hope to avoid it, but I'm ready if we can't", Bertie said. Anyway, gossip wasn't the most important thing. The important thing was being with Edith. So he added: "The only thing I'm not ready for is a life without you."

Edith just stared at him. There were so many emotions going over her face that he couldn't interpret all of them. Had he managed to say the right words? He wondered.

But at least it was true, he wasn't ready for that at all.

Then she took a sip of her Champagne. Just a small sip, but it gave him the first small glimpse of hope.

This would be alright. Edith would come back to him. He just had to wait now, he didn't want to risk jumping the gun again.

...

So Bertie took a sip of his own Champagne, waiting for Edith to say something more. She seemed a little calmer now and not so angry.

She gave him a small, uncertain smile.

"I think we have a lot more to talk about before I can give you an answer", she said. "But at least I have decided to stay and have dinner with you."

"Thank you Edith! I love you", he said. "Perhaps we should order some food?"

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading. Thank you for the lovely reviews! You are so kind!

...

I have now finished the DA scene at the Ritz both from Edith's and from Bertie's point of view. So from now on I can use a little more of my own imagination.

...

There really were two million more women than men in England those years, most of them in the same generation as the Crawley girls. Many of the men of those age-groups had been killed in the war.

There were articles in the papers about how desperate women where to catch husbands. That is probably the reason Edith says "It's not a trap" to Bertie on the sofa.

So Downton Abbey is really very unrealistic. Mary has four able-bodied unmarried young men running after her, five if we count Matthew, and Edith has one. (I don't count Gregson, who was both married and belonged to another generation. In that aspect he is perhaps the most believable of all the two girls' admirers.)

In real life none of them would probably have any admirers at all at the time, except perhaps Matthew. But that would off course have made DA much less interesting.

...

It is really wonderful with all the new stories about Edith and Bertie! I wonder how long this will last.


	7. I Must Warn You

"So, what would you like to eat?" Bertie asked, looking at Edith with one of those smiles that always made her heart flutter. He seemed much calmer now and not so sad, as if he did no longer doubt that she would give him the answer he wanted.

So Bertie and Edith both opened their menus and started discussing the possible choices. It was amazing how - even in small things like that - they liked the same things. So, they ended up wanting to order exactly the same things.

While discussing what to eat they had somehow managed to get back into their old comfortable ways. Edith had to remind herself that there were still things she _had_ to tell him before she could give him an answer to his proposal.

But she really, really wanted to say yes to him.

...

A little while later they had ordered their food and their wine and were waiting for the first course to arrive.

"I will tell you the whole story about Marigold tonight", Edith said. "But first of all I must warn you. You are taking a big risk if you marry me."

"Warn me? Risk? What do you mean?" Bertie started to look a little worried again.

"It is not so easy to keep things secret", Edith explained. "They are bound to get out. The only one I have ever told about Marigold is Aunt Rosamund, all the others have found out on their own. Granny, Mama, Papa, Tom, Mary and no doubt many of the servants. If I marry you and bring Marigold to Brancaster I'm sure that sooner or later everyone there will know also. Your mother included."

"Ah!" Bertie said. Then he was quiet. Edith saw his face change again, all the peacefulness that she had seen in it since she agreed to have dinner with him being replaced with sadness again.

"What an utter fool I have been", he murmured, looking down at the table, shaking his head.

At last he had understood what she had tried to tell him all the time, Edith realised. That he couldn't marry her, that the secret was bound to get out if he did. That he couldn't afford a scandal like that.

So, he knew it was over now, and it broke Edith's heart all over again to see it. Bertie knew he couldn't marry her and he also knew he couldn't live without her. No wonder that he was sad.

Edith had an impulse just to get up and leave. There was nothing more she could do for Bertie now.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Thank you for all the lovely reviews! Please leave a comment!

...

The first six chapters were an interpretation first from Edith's point of view, then from Bertie's of everything said on screen in that scene. I wanted to analyse what was going on inside each of the character's mind during the conversation.

I have struggled with how to continue this story, even thinking about letting it end after chapter six. But now I have decided that I will continue in the same way, but move the story forward with each chapter. So this chapter is from Edith's point of view about what happens right after the conversation in CS, the next chapter will be Bertie's view of what happens after this one.

 **...**

 _First, there is Bertie Pelham, possibly the nicest fictional character ever written._ This quote is from a review of the latest DA episode in an American net-magazine. They have come to Edith and Bertie's date and first kiss now.

And yes, I totally agree. That's what it took for me, who have written more than twenty Edith/Anthony stories, one of them called _The Nicest Man on Earth,_ to lose interest in Edith ever getting back with Anthony again.

And this, from another American review, nicely sums up Edith's dilemma: _She's got an adorable new boyfriend who, to quote the old tune, can't give her anything but love, and she's not sure she's even worthy of that._


	8. It Went to My Head

When Bertie looked up at Edith again after calling himself an utter fool he noticed that there was something strange with her. There was something in her eyes that he had never seen before. He couldn't interpret it as anything else than pity. For some reason she felt sorry for him.

It was strange, because he felt he had been treating her so badly that morning at Downton Abbey, and that was what he regretted now. He had been breaking her heart as well as his own. Just because of his own stupid pride.

She shouldn't pity him for that, she should blame him.

"It all went to my head", he said after a while. "Becoming a Marquess. I grieved Peter, off course I did. And I was scared of the responsibility, just like I told you that day. But through it all I was happy, because I was so sure you would marry me now. I thought that it was my lowly circumstances that had made you hesitate. That I couldn't possibly give you the kind of life you were used to, however much I had wanted to."

He was quiet for a while again, wanting to give Edith a chance to answer him. Edith looked surprised. As if she had expected him to say something very different from what he actually said.

"That was not the problem at all", Edith said then. "I wanted very much to marry you. I'm certain we would have managed, we could have lived just splendidly. I'm not as helpless and spoilt as I was brought up to be. I just wanted to tell you about Marigold before I accepted you, but I never dared to. You becoming a Marquess only made it more difficult."

"Yes, I understand that now", Bertie said with a sigh. "I have changed, as I just told you. That visit to your parents' home wasn't my finest moment..."

Just then the waiter arrived to serve their first course.

...

After the waiter had left and they had tasted their smoked salmon, Edith looked at Bertie in silence again. She seemed to expect him to say something more, so he looked down at the table again.

"What made me so upset that morning at the breakfast table was that I thought you had confided in everybody else but wanted to keep me in the dark", he said.

"It wasn't like that at all. And I wanted to tell you, I just didn't dare to. I knew that Tom knew but I had no idea that Mary did."

"Actually, that was what hurt my pride most", Bertie said with a new sigh. "That you had told your sister - please don't be offended that I say this - but the two of you didn't seem to get along all that well. But I thought you still trusted her with your secret, but not me."

That was the mildest description of the relationship between her and Mary that Edith had ever heard.

"My mother used to say that we were at each other's throats from morning till night. So no, that doesn't offend me."

"Ah."

...

Bertie was quiet again, thinking things through.

"How come you told your Aunt about Marigold but not your mother?" he asked then.

"Aunt Rosamund saw me coming home after my night with Michael - or rather, her maid saw me. I will tell you the whole story later, when you have said what you have to say. If you still want to hear it then."

"So you didn't really want to tell her either?"

"No, not really."

"I hope you understand that your aunt is not the only one you have told it to", Bertie said then.

"But she is! I promise..." Edith was anxious for him to believe her. It was the truth after all.

"No, she isn't. Because you told _me_ also. Perhaps Mary provoked you to tell me, but you were the one who actually told me. You said _Marigold is my daughter._ Remember?"

Edith only looked at him.

"So I was the second one to be told about her. I like that", Bertie said with a smile.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Thank you for the lovely reviews! Please leave a comment!

...

I have seven unfinished stories going on at the same time now, two Edith/Anthony, four Edith/Bertie and one that is about all three of them but mainly about Anthony, what happens to him after he left Edith.

I still want to finish all of the stories, but I'm not sure I will be able to...


	9. Why Don't You Just Say It?

Edith wondered what was going on with Bertie. He seemed to be in a surprisingly good mode now. He smiled at her in a way that she couldn't interpret as anything but confident. Had she misunderstood him completely? But she couldn't have. It had been so obvious, just a couple of minutes ago.

It was a torture to Edith, the way he dragged it out, when she was so sure about how it would all end. "Oh, Bertie, why don't you just say it?" she blurted out in her frustration.

Bertie looked genuinly surprised.

"What is it that you want me to say?"

"It's not what I _want_ you to say. It's what I _expect_ you to say. That you can't marry me. That you were a fool for ever thinking you could."

Bertie looked at her with disbelief written all over his face.

"Haven't I explained that enough? That I can't live without you? That I think about you all the time when we are apart? That I'm mad about you?"

What was this? Edith didn't understand what he was saying.

"But aren't you afraid? That your neighbours and servants will laugh at you behind your back? Because they think that you have unwittingly taken on your wife's bastard?"

Bertie just looked at her.

"Please don't call Marigold that again. Ever. It is not a nice thing to say."

Bertie was actually pouting. He was incredibly sweet, and Edith found it even sweeter that it was Marigold he defended, but she couldn't afford to let that affect her.

"You are right. I won't call her that again", was all Edith could say. Then she looked down on her food and put some more into her mouth to have an excuse not to say anything more.

...

"I don't care if people talk", Bertie said after a while. "Well, I do care, but not all that much. It is not the most important thing to me, you are."

He was quiet again, then he added.

"If Josef could handle it, then I can."

"Josef? Who on earth...Ah! Josef! But I am definitely not the virgin Mary. There was nothing immaculate about it, I'm afraid."

Edith was still looking down at the table, feeling quite a bit embarrassed about the whole discussion.

"At least there must have been some talk behind his back, but perhaps it wasn't a good parable. But still, the only thing that could stop me from marrying you is if you don't want me."

Edith was stunned. Did he really mean that?

...

"What about trust?" Edith asked then. "You said you couldn't spend your life with me because you didn't trust me. That was your main reason for leaving me. I can't see how that has changed."

Bertie thought about it for a moment before he answered.

"There are actually two answers to that", he said then. "And the real reason I broke up with you wasn't that. It was that I thought that you trusted everybody but me. When in fact you didn't trust anybody at all."

Edith looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

"The first answer is that I think you _were_ trying to tell me, that evening outside my room. When I pushed you for an answer to my proposal. And even worse, when I took your hesitations as a yes. After that I silenced you with a kiss. I'm ashamed of that, I think a kiss should be an act of mutual love and appreciation. I hope I will never do a thing like that again."

Edith was surprised by this generous interpretation of the facts. She wasn't at all certain that she would have dared to tell him that evening if he had just given her more time.

Bertie was quiet for a moment again.

"I felt so happy after that kiss", he added then. "But when I thought about it later on in the taxi, I realised that you hadn't looked happy at all after it. You had looked terrified."

...

They were both quiet, thinking things over, finishing their food and wine.

"You said there were two answers", Edith said then. "What is the other one?"

"Two answers to what?" Bertie seemed to be very far away in his thoughts.

"Trust", Edith said. "My question about trust."

"Trust, yes. I think that trust is something earned not given. If you felt you couldn't trust me with your secret, I ought to try to win your trust. Instead I just threw you away. In spite of the fact that I was and am mad about you. So from now on I don't care if you don't trust me with your secrets. I'm happy if you tell me but you can have as many secrets as you like if you just agree to come back to me."

Edith looked into Bertie's earnest eyes. He really meant this. Edith wondered what had made this wonderful man fall in love with her. She felt totally unworthy of his affection.

"I think it is time that I tell you the whole story about Marigold", she said then. The least she could do was to prove to him that she trusted him now.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Thank you for all the lovely reviews! I really appreciate them!

Please leave a review to this chapter!


	10. I Breastfed Her

So Edith started telling Bertie about Marigold. Or rather, she started telling him about Gregson, the things she had left out when she told him how she had inherited the magazine and the apartment.

But Bertie interrupted her almost immediately.

"You can tell me about this if you want to, but you don't have to", he said. "I don't think this is the best place to tell any sensitive things, with waiters interrupting and perhaps overhearing."

At that very moment - almost to confirm Bertie's words - the waiter chose to come up to them to clear the table.

...

"So, let's talk about other things for the time being", Bertie said when the waiter had left them again to fetch their second course. "What has happened in your life since we last met?"

So Edith started to tell him about Mary's wedding. She didn't tell him about her quarrel with Mary right after he had left, though. That was one of those sensitive things that could wait. Instead she asked him about Tangiers.

The rest of their meal passed pleasantly by in the same way.

Bertie was talking about how it had been at the memorial service and how much he had missed her that day. But also about what it had been like to fly in an aeroplane. Edith told him about what had happened at the magazine. She made him laugh by telling him how she and Laura had found out who their agony aunt was.

After the dinner was finished and they had got their hats and coats, an awkward pause followed. Edith hadn't actually accepted his proposal yet, had she, Bertie thought. He'd better not jump the gun again.

"Can I walk you home?" he asked.

"Of course", Edith said. "We still have things to talk about."

"You can tell me about Marigold if you want to", Bertie said. "But you don't have to. It's enough for me to know that she is your daughter."

"Of course I will tell you!" Edith said simply.

...

So they started walking together and Edith started telling him about Marigold. Or rather - the things she hadn't told him before about Michael Gregson. Which wasn't much, she had already told him most of it, all except that one night in Michael's bed.

"And then well, he disappeared in Germany as I have already told you. And I realised that I was expecting a baby."

After that she was quiet, wondering if she could tell him the most sensitive thing of all. The doctor in London and how she had wanted to end her pregnancy.

"Do you know what I love most about you and Marigold?" Bertie asked her before she had managed to decide. "That Marigold is still there with you. That the first thing you asked me when I proposed to you that night was if you could bring her. Even if you couldn't admit that she is yours, you haven't given her up either. And I'm sure that if I had said you couldn't bring her you would have refused me at once that evening. It is things like that makes me want to have you as my wife."

Edith listened to him in silence. She was certain now that she had to tell him the whole story. She wanted him, and she wanted him as close as only a total truthfulness and understanding can make two human beings. She didn't want any lies - big or small - in the middle of her marriage.

"I wanted to give her up", Edith said. "I even went to one of those doctors... you know the kind... but I just couldn't go through with it. Then I went to Switzerland with my aunt, to hide the pregnancy and have the child adopted by someone there. But I just couldn't do that either."

"I'm so glad you didn't get through with any of that ", Bertie said. "And if you have done it all because you couldn't do it any other way, that makes you even more precious to me. You and Marigold both."

"I breastfed her", Edith said, stopping at the pavement, looking up into Bertie's eyes, willing him to understand how important that had been to her. "Before that I felt her little feet kicking inside me. My body turned into that of a ... a walrus for her. I gave birth to her and - well it did hurt some. Then I breastfed her. She was my baby for nearly half a year after she was born. So I refused to sign the adoption papers - I said I needed to think for a few months more. I went back home but all the time in England I was thinking about how much she probably missed me. When I didn't think about how much I missed her..."

Bertie got tears in his eyes hearing all this. He took a quick look up and down the street - there was no one around. Then he took his hat in his hand and bent forward, touching her lips softly.

To his delight Edith threw her arms around him and kissed him back with all the enthusiasm he could have wished for. Perhaps she had missed kissing him just as much as he had missed kissing her.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Thank you for the nice comments to last chapter - so long ago.


	11. Jumping the Gun

Bertie looked at Edith when they had finished kissing.

"I think that you are a wonderful mother and very courageous. You did the best you could in a difficult situation. I'm sorry that I made things worse for you, giving up on you like that. But I assure you, I wasn't shocked, I never was shocked, only disappointed that you didn't trust me. But of course I can understand that now, when I have had time to think it over."

Edith just looked at him. She didn't know what to say. She felt so happy, she just wanted to kiss him again. So she started walking again, to get to her flat faster.

...

"I'm certain that you didn't look like a walrus when you expected Marigold", Bertie said with a smile after a while.

"I did!" Edith insisted. "You didn't see me. I was huge. I looked very much like a walrus."

"Well, I don't believe that. And even if you did look like a walrus you must have been the sweetest and most beautiful walrus ever."

Edith laughed at the compliment. Or was it a compliment? She laughed at that thought too.

She was certain that she was the first woman ever to be happy that the man she loved called her a walrus. Or perhaps it was considered very romantic for a man to call his woman that during the stone age? Different times have different habits.

"And I wouldn't mind making you look like a walrus again, after we are marr..." Bertie stopped short in the middle of the word. He was jumping the gun _again_ , he realised.

He stopped walking, took his hat off again and looked at Edith.

"That is if you want to marry me", he added, looking seriously into her eyes, hat in hand. "I would get down on one knee and propose to you right now, if the ground wasn't so wet after the rain."

"Of course I want to marry you, Bertie", Edith said. "There is nothing I want more. And I don't need any fancy proposal. It's enough for me to know that you still want me."

...

Back at Edith's flat and after some more kissing and cuddling, Bertie actually got down on one knee beside the sofa. He gave Edith the ring he had brought. It was a wonderful ring and Edith ooh-ed and aah-ed over it for quite some time.

Then he told her about the party.

"My mother has invited people to Brancaster to thank them for supporting me. There will be a big dinner in a few days. I didn't like the idea before, but now I have changed my mind. I hope you will come there with me so we can make it our official engagement dinner. And bring your parents and any other relatives you like. Mother will be thrilled."

After that they both called their parents to tell them that they had decided to get married and make the final arrangements for the engagement party.

Bertie's mother was indeed thrilled. So was Edith's father.

...

The next day Edith returned to Brancaster together with Bertie. This was so different from when he had travelled in the other direction only two days ago, alone and afraid that he had lost her forever.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Thank you for the nice comments!


	12. Dinner at the Ritz

This time the two of them arrived at the restaurant together.

As soon as the taxi stopped outside the Ritz, Edith knew why Bertie had brought her there. He had only told her to put on something nice, he wanted to take her out for dinner.

This day wasn't really an anniversery, their official engagement day wasn't until almost a week later. But of course she knew what day it was. And was happy that he wanted to celebrate it.

...

The waiter brought them to the very same table as that day. Edith wondered how Bertie had managed to bring that about - he must have planned this very carefully.

He ordered menus and two glasses of champagne, just like he had done that time. Then he just sat there looking lovingly into her eyes without a word until the waiter came back.

...

"Thank you for staying that day, Edith", Bertie said as he raised his glass. "And thank you for every day you have staid with me since. There have been quite a few of them now. All this time your love is what has made my life worth living."

Edith smiled at him. All these years with him, yes, they had been wonderful. They had had their ups and downs, of course, as all humans have. They had even lived through a new war. But even in bad times Edith had always had that underlying feeling of happiness because she knew she had the love of this kind and gentle man.

"Thank you for the children" he added. He didn't say 'Marigold included'. He didn't have to, Marigold was always included for Bertie.

Bertie loved this daughter that he hadn't got until she was nearly three. He was always proud and happy about her.

Bertie loved Marigold in a way Edith wasn't certain she would be able to do with a child that wasn't her own.

Perhaps he had made an effort to begin with, but after that it had all come naturally.

...

Bertie smiled mischievously at Edith.

"Let me tell you a secret", he said. "You never managed to look like a walrus when you were pregnant. Not even when you were expecting the twins. I must admit I was a bit disappointed by that. You were only ever the same beautiful woman, just as you are tonight."

Edith smiled at him again. So he remembered that silly conversation. This was, of course, the day to remember it. In 1950, twenty-five years after it had happened.

She wondered, as she so often did, what had made this wonderful man fall in love with her.

She was so thankful for it. She could have had a good life without him, of course she could, living on her own in London, managing the magazine and taking care of Marigold.

But she could never have had the kind of good life she had had with him.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Thank you for the nice reviews!

...

This is the end of the story. And they _did_ live happily ever after.

...

So I managed to finish a story! Less than a year after I started it. There is still hope for the rest of them.


End file.
